Inside tape outside film

You don't see it much on television anymore (or, at least, I don't) but back in the 70s television programmes would use two different style: indoor shooting, usually on a stage, would be shot on video-tape; outdoor scenes would be shot on film. For me, the difference was startling, and it always surprised me when others couldn't see it. Video had a cheap cold and claustrophobic look to it, whereas film was rich and warm and expansive. Two completely different looks, and I've never been able to forget the contrast between them.

Sometimes, I see writing the same way. When I'm writing a story it never seems to be what I initially envision — the act of trying to capture the dreamlike idea with concrete words always diminishes the tale. I always feel as though every word I write further simplifies my idea, makes the secrets trite, the themes bare and boring. The story, when I'm done, is cheap and cold and claustrophobic.

But a strange thing happens over time. Maybe once the story is done and sent off on its own into the world, the distance allows me to forget what I've written, or at least forget the parts that aren't as strong as i wanted them to be. Or, perhaps, time away from the story provides me with a clarity I couldn't have had before being so close to the thing, and only after a while and in hindsight, does the story unravel its bindings and open up its true worth. It becomes — well, it may not become what I imagined initially, I suspect, but it becomes something else, something I hope just as grand.

It's strange fall in love with a story after it's been written and left behind. I remember my tale "Pinholes in Black Muslin" being one I was particularly down on at the time, and yet over the two years since I wrote it I've grown to feel quite strongly about it. Does other reactions to a tale help? I think so, to some degree; I think I can be swayed. Maybe that's not right to feel, let alone admit, but I write in a vacuum, and sometimes I can't see what works on my own. All I can do is write the best thing I can write and I hope somehow it connects with people.